Monday, January 30, 2012

blog #2 finding your howl

http://changethis.com/manifesto/51.01.YourHowl/pdf/51.01.YourHowl.pdf

The first story in "Finding Your Howl" is about a wolf named Mumon.  He lived in captivity and was released into the wild.  A problem was that he had forgotten how to howl.  Mumon gradually starts listening to his instincts and first kills a deer to eat.  Before he kills the deer, the deer tells Mumon when he is hungry enough for it his howl will come.  Mumon is put in a life or death situation his howl comes back to him and he is the leader of the wolf pack.  This basically means that to find our own howl we sometimes need to pay a price.  We need to sacrifice to find our own unique voice.


"When I was younger I believed there could be a quick escape and freedom was acces- sible to us so long as we were daring enough. But I learned over time that if we don’t live through our particular brand of prison all the way—our neurotic patterns, our fears, our disguises, our lack of faith, etc.—we are destined to repeat and re-create them regardless of what job, relationship, or circumstance we are in. It is better to stay right where we are and tunnel through the depths of it once and for all than to jump out in search of a new context right away—the old one follows us."(Johnathon Flaum)
     As a media student I feel I do not have an all time favorite quote, poem, story, or lyric.  I feed off of my mood and what I like at the current moment.  After reading "Finding Your Howl" by Johnathon Flaum I am feeling very moved and inspired.  So at the moment this is my favorite story and the above section is my favorite quote.  As a creative person I am realistic but also very emotional and I feed off of everything I absorb and form immediate opinions about what I absorbed.
     During grade school and high school I was a student who did not fully understand the purpose of school.  I would try to find short cuts, or the easy way out of everything.  I was the student who would talk out in class to the teacher and try to persuade him or her to shorten the assignment, make the quiz open note, or push back the day of the test.  To be honest when I was in high school I did respect authority but would mostly forget that a classroom was usually run by the teacher as a monarchy, not run like a democracy.  I really only ever fully never took short cuts when I was the program director of the cable station at my high school.  Media was really the only thing I cared about doing fully and completely.
     The quote I selected from "Finding Your Howl" speaks to me not only as a creative person but also as a young woman learning from life.  I have no trouble admitting that even though I am majoring in media I am not the most creative person at times.  I do however enjoy embracing creativity.  Working in the creative industry has its ups and downs.  As a creative person I have learned short cuts and avoiding things do not work out in the creative industry.  It is definitely harder to break into the media business than any other type of field.  I believe one has to fully know ones self before they are prepared for what media critics will throw at them.  I must be able to live through my own prison and deal with what I throw at myself before I am ready to handle what others think of me.  I am a person who has never had trouble spending time alone and learning from my own thoughts.  I find a person who can truly be alone and handle their own fears that he or she can grow as and handle anything.  I believe my creativity comes from two factors.  First I am influenced by an outside factor but then I spend time dealing with my crazy, neuroic thoughts and that is how I develop creative ideas.  I know I am my harshest critic.  I think this is true for everyone.  I continue to beat myself up and to puch myself so I accomplish what I want.   I  am a very passionate natured girl.  I have fears and as a creative girl those fears are people not liking any form of work I do.  If I put my heart and soul into something my biggest fear is people not liking my work.  I do not have a problem if people do not like me, it is my work that I care about liking.  
     Over the past several years I have really grown as a young woman.  I have made many mistakes and tortured myself over them.  Recently I made the biggest mistake of my life and I continue to critique myself.  I know if I do not learn from my mistakes then I will not grow as a person.  Johnathon Flaum is all about finding a unique voice, as a creative person that is my number one priority.   
     
   

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